Confession of Confusion

I Kissed A Girl, and I Liked It!

As a former Youth Pastor and father of three daughters, I always try to stay in touch with what’s going on with our youth today (don’t misinterpret “former” to mean I don’t minister to youth any longer; most of my time outside of vocationally pastoring is spent ministering to youth). Well one of the things I do to see what has our young peoples time and attention is to see what is floating on the top of the music charts on Billboard. Coming in for the 10th week at number one on Billboard’s top 100 is Katy Perry’s song, “I Kissed a Girl.”

“I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

Overnight sensation? No, Katy Perry grew up singing . . . Gospel! Katy’s real name is Katy Hudson, who use to be a Gospel recording artist who sung songs like:

“For He’ll [God] prevail
In the midst of all my trials and tribulations
And He’ll prevail
In the midst of all my sin and temptations . . .”

To singing song lyrics like these:

This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion
It’s not what, I’m used to
Just wanna try you on
I’m curious for you
Caught my attention
I kissed a girl and I liked it

Hello? Is anyone listening to her? “Drink in hand, Lost my Discretion, not what I’m use to.” No it’s not what she is use to. Katy grew up in a Christian household as the daughter of two pastors. Though she was not allowed to listen to “secular” music growing up, Katy’s life would change forever after being introduced to the music of “Queen” at a slumber party. Ever since then, she says “the group has been my biggest influence.” She tasted it, and she liked it.

I don’t know Katy Perry. Maybe I will get a change to speak with her one day. But I know she is a far cry from home and the self-entitled Christian album she released back in 2001. I don’t actually have a problem with Christians having “Secular” careers as long as their lyrics, lips, and lifestyle do not contradict Godly principles. In this case, I was wondering if she rebelled against growing up in a “strict” home, to express her frustrations or freedom; or is it the case that she compromised her values and beliefs in order to earn some real money. Maybe she’s not quite sure what she believes and she’s still trying to figure things out; or how about this . . . she is just trippin’ with what she believes is a goofy song (a lil’ Cognac will do that to you).

I know what didn’t surprise me . . . all of the responses from the Christian community, blogs, and postings.

”Look at her showing all her goodies”
“Sell out”
“Her parents must be disgusted with her”
“She’s going to hell”

I don’t know what her final destination is (she might be going to the same place you are, put that where you want to). But I do know that many young people adhere to their parent’s rules and values when they are young because they have to. As they get older they are faced with decisions and situations that challenge who they are, what they believe, and how they will live. As I listened to the song I thought it was goofy, when I heard and read the lyrics, I thought it was sad. As believers, we should listen pass the catchy beat, fortune and fame (yeah, stop hatin’), quit just pointing our fingers and shaking our heads, and take the time to listen with our hearts long enough to see that this little girl is confused. All of these blogs I’ve been reading this morning are enough to make anyone jump out the window. And guess who is there to be understanding, forgiving and to provide some (however wrong) love, support, and advice . . . the world! (If you can’t say amen, say ouch).

Just saying that we should be willing to do more than just point at error, but also do something to correct it.

My Mind, My Thoughts, My Heart, My Words

Listen to this interview and what someone else called “A Confession of Confusion” (The first 3 minutes)



P.S. Katy, if you have questions about truth or maybe how you are feeling, when the crowd is gone and the band is back on the bus, I would love to talk with you. Please email me.
Shawn

She's Not Heavy, She's My Daughter!

As many of you know, I suffered a pretty bad back injury not too long ago. I've been getting around pretty good for a guy my age (LOL), but I'm not quite 100% yet. Well, the other night while walking around Walmart, my oldest daughter decides to jump on my back and ask me to give her a tour of the place while we were looking for the rest of the family. Before I could tell her to get down before we both go down, she grabs me tight and tells me how no matter how old she gets, she's still going to get on my back even when she's married. At that point there wasn't enough pain in the world that could make me put my daughter down. By the time we were ready to leave Walmart, I had given all three of my daughter's piggy-back rides. The Marines have a saying that "pain is just weakness leaving the body" well that must be true because in the midst of all the pain I am made to feel strong. By the way, my oldest is almost 16 now and almost as tall as me, but don't worry, She's not heavy, she's my daughter.

My prayer this year has been, "Lord, make me half the man my kids think I am."

Will you pray that prayer with me?

The Subject of Evil is Good

I was reading from the writings of St. Thomas Aquinas this morning on the subject of Evil (I know, huh?). Evil, according to Aquinas, actually does not exist – at least not as a substance or thing.
What then is Evil? It is nothing more than the “privation of the good (or of perfect being).” So a thing is called evil if it lacks a perfection or good that it ought to have. So if a man lacks sight, this is called evil for him, but if a stone lacks sight, this would not be considered evil because a stone is not equipped by nature to have the faculty of sight. This brings out the fact that not every good (thing, being, whatever) can be the subject of evil in the same way, but only in respect to some perfection, quality, or good that it should have by nature, of which it can be deprived. So when a good being (good in that he or she has being) lives in such a way as to lack virtue in accord with his nature (such as self control, patience, reason, love and respect for others) he is said to be acting poorly or evil.

Something else I thought about while reading through this was the question of whether or not God (who is the ultimate perfection or good) can be the subject of Evil. As Aquinas would say, "I’ll answer that!" – (All this talk about perfections, potential, and deprivation is making me hungry). First, God doesn’t “have” perfections, He “is” perfection. Secondly, God is pure Actuality with no Potentiality whatsoever. Therefore, God has no perfection that has the potential of being deprived, so God can never be the subject of Evil (or maybe I’m just hungry, let’s see what I think after breakfast).

I now go to actualize my potential to be full and satisfied!

Capturing the Pains of Life

Some images make you laugh, some make you cry, others might make you think, but this image held me in suspense all night before I could fully process what I was looking at. It is the image of a starving Sudanese girl feebly trying to make her way to a UN feeding Center a kilometer away while being stalked by a vulture. The photograph was taken by Kevin Cater in 1994 during the Sudan famine. He admittedly chased the vulture away after capturing the image, but does not know what happened to the little girl. Sadly, just months later and one week after receiving the Pulitzer Prize for the photograph (which is regarded as the highest national honor in journalism), Kevin Carter committed suicide. Excerpts from Carter’s suicide note expressed how the pain of life overrode his joy to the point that joy no longer existed. Many people are witnesses of the pain and suffering of others, some are even willing to chase away the vultures, but how many of us are willing to feed the hungry or help the helpless?

Today could have been different

The family and I have been enjoying reruns of ABC's "Daybreak." It is a show that was cancelled last year that they are re-airing to finally show the finale. It's about a young detective (played by Taye Diggs) who wakes up one morning accused of a crime he didn't commit. The only problem is, even if he is successful in clearing his name, he will wake up the next morning and repeat the whole thing all over again. It holds your attention as we see how saving a life in one instant results in the death of someone else in another. The tagline for the show is "for every decision, there's a consequence."

I woke up this morning and thought to myself about all the ways today could be different. I thought about the things I have like my wife, kids, health, family and friends and thought to myself today could have been different. I thought about all the things I don't have like cancer and thought to myself, today could have been different. And finally I remembered being in High School holding a gun that a friend brought to school, when another student came up to me and asked if he could see it. I turned toward him and put the gun right to his chest and pulled the trigger . . .

Thank you Lord for your Grace and Mercy . . . Yeah today could have been so much different.

My Mind, My Thoughts, My Heart, My Words

The "A" Word: Part 2 - My Response

O.k. first let me thank everyone for their patience. It’s been a month since I blogged on the “A” word. I deliberately took my time responding because I wanted everyone to read it and reply to it. Let me say that I loved all of the comments that I received (public and private). Secondly, let me ensure you that I will be updating the website and blog page frequently so be sure to stay in touch. I’m encouraged by your comments and knowing that you are reading my mind (didn’t know you had that power, huh?).

Let me start off my response to the “A” word by noting something interesting: In my 3 hour conversation with my friend, he suggested to me that if I ever intended on reaching the “black church” that I should eliminate the word Apologetics from my vocabulary. However, the reasons he gave for not using the word apologetics, actually argued against the use and importance of apologetics altogether. Walk with me point by point as I give my response:

“The word Apologetics is foreign to people, no ones ever heard of it or knows what it means”

Response: Well then thank God for the honor and privilege of introducing the word to people. I remember hearing a joke that said “if you want to keep something from a black person, put it in a book.” What the joke implies is that black folks don’t read. How insulting is it to suggest that because a word is foreign or even somewhat difficult to understand that people can’t learn something new. Notice I said “people” not black people because this is not a race problem; it’s a problem of people being intellectually lazy. We must remember that ignorance is not a spiritual badge of honor. God wants us to have a childlike faith not a childish faith.

“If the pastor as the “head, father, or prophet” of that house (the Church), is unable to elaborate on or reiterate the points of discussion that the apologist brings up, he might find this challenging to his ability to "hear from God" or reveal a lack of knowledge on his part in a particular area or study.”

Response: First let me go back to my point about spiritually lazy people. It’s a lot easier to claim “new revelation” or what the Holy Spirit is saying to you, then it is to “Study to show yourself approved.” I know there was a time in this country when education may not have been as accessible, a time when the pastor could not lean on his command of scripture or understanding of Greek or Hebrew as an appeal to his authority and therefore his authority (and respect as Pastor) came from his ability to “hear from God.” I believe this is why many Pastors become intimidated or even feel embarrassed when they can not elaborate of reiterate on the points of discussion an apologist may bring up. But here’s the deal: Why should Pastors be made to feel like they should know everything? Or why do they set themselves up for a fall by acting like they should know everything? The truth of the matter is this: If you find a Pastor who knows all things and has an infinite understanding of the infinite . . . Drop to your knees and worship him, you are dead and in the presence of Jesus!

“No one cares about apologetics . . . what people are concerned about are real life challenges”

Response: Even if no one cares about apologetics, it doesn’t follow that it is not important. It is vital that we as believers know what we believe and why we believe it. Having a firm foundation is what helps us to make sense of the “real life challenges” we face in society today. It is this type of thinking that leads Christians to have private convictions they do not live out publicly. It is why so many people put money before morality or trade their patience for their passions (don’t believe me; watch how people vote in this upcoming election).

“As long as you are not teaching heresy, love Jesus, teach people to live better, and preach truth, that’s all that matters.”

Response: Really? How do you know that you are not teaching heresy? Or that you are loving the real Jesus? How do you know that you are preaching Truth? It is the discipline of apologetics that helps us to discern truth, recognize error, and maintain doctrinal integrity in our churches.

Lastly, “At the end of the day you don’t need apologetics to get to heaven."

Response: Even if that was a true statement, it doesn’t follow that apologetics has no value. First, I believe in many cases apologetics is the very thing God uses to help remove the barriers of unbelief to draw men unto Himself. Secondly, there are at least three great purposes for apologetics in the life of a believer:

1. Personally it is important for a believer to know what they believe and why.
2. Culturally we must stand for the truth ethically and morally.
3. Evangelistically we must be ready to give an answer to everyone for the hope we have in Christ.



My Mind, My Thoughts, My Heart, My Words

The "A" Word

I had a very long conversation (3 hours) with a pastor friend of mine tonight. We spent a few moments catching up with each other before he began inquiring about my ministry and upcoming banquet. He was excited to hear about all of the great things God was doing in and through Stand for Truth Ministries, but wanted to leave me with a bit of sound advice: “Drop the “A” word.” He went on to suggest that “if you want to effectively reach the “black” church you are going to have to eliminate the term from your vocabulary.” So what’s the “A” word? It’s the word Apologetics.

Now as a disclaimer let me say that while it might be the case that other races face the same challenges when presenting apologetics, our discussion is about me as an African American Apologist and the difficulties I face in presenting Apologetics in the “Black” church.

"Use the word at home and no where else.” After all, he remarks, “at the end of the day, no one goes to heaven by apologetics.” He offered several reasons in support of his point. First, the vast majority of black pastors are insecure and may feel intimidated by having someone like me speak or teach at their church. In his experience, many black pastors find Apologetics to be divisive, undermines their authority and may bring into question their ability to “hear from God.” How you might ask? Well if the pastor as the “head, father, or prophet” of that house (the Church), is unable to elaborate on or reiterate the points of discussion that the apologist brings up, he might find this challenging to his ability to "hear from God" or reveal a lack of knowledge on his part in a particular area or study. He felt that the result of this may cause some to feel like they may lose members and as a result, money.

Secondly, he suggest to me that “no one knows about apologetics and no one cares . . . It’s just not of interest to them.” He went on to say that what people are concerned about today are “real life challenges” such as “gas prices, the fact that my babies are hungry, or that my family member is on drugs, or the fact that I’m about to lose my home.” He wanted me to realize that no one but me was interested in that stuff; it was just a passion of mine. “People don’t care about that stuff Hayes, as long as you are not teaching heresy, love Jesus, teach people to live better, and preach truth, that’s all that matters because (the last point) at the end of the day you don’t need apologetics to get to heaven." I remember a leader once expressing somewhat of the same idea to me when I told him what I was going to school for. He said, "you will be like a car driving in the snow . . . sure your wheels are spinning, but you ain't going anywhere."

Before I give my thoughts, I would really like to hear from you (especially Pastors and Leaders)